M5

Last Spring, my Chris took me to a Maroon 5 concert. I think it was a birthday present... I can't remember, maybe he was just being sweet that day or something. Anyway, the result of this was that I bought a M5 knit cap. I loved this cap. It's perfect. Being that it was Spring, I really didn't have much use for it. I figured, I'd wait until Winter came along, then I could wear it and be all happy.

Fast forward to last Winter, I could not find the cap. Anywhere. I called everyone asking if I might've left the cap at their house, but no one knew what I was referring to. I was upset. It was brand new! I was angry. Someone must've loved it as much as me and had taken it! That must be it! I searched my house from top to bottom, all through my dressers, all through my closet. Nothing. I finally gave up.

Fast forward to this Spring, I asked my Chris to bring me up the box of Easter decorations from the basement. It's a big box. I have more Easter decorations than Christmas ones, it seems like. I opened the box, when low and behold, there was my cap. In the box. It must've fallen in there and I'd packed it away for a whole year.

While I'm happy that I found my cap, now I wish it would snow again, so I'd have a reason to wear it. (Yeah, I'm sitting here wearing it, right now.)

An Essay in Bitches

Through the last century, women have been viewed in a multitude of ways. Whether it be the "June Cleaver" image of yesteryear or "Marilyn Monroe" material girl homages, women have been out there, trying to change how we are perceived. In today's society, a more power role has been established as the new image for what a woman should be. Women have transformed from a secondary submissive role to a more assertive, aggressive dominant one. That's all fine and dandy, I applaud this. What gets me is that by changing roles, by changing the way women are viewed, we, as women, often forget what it is that we are changing this perception to.

It's fine to be assertive. It's great to be aggressive. The fact of the matter is that there is fine line there. We can try to ignore it, we can try to dismiss it, but it's there, it's there waiting for us to acknowledge it. THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN AGGRESSIVENESS AND BITCHINESS. There, I said it.

Not so long ago, one could find me admonishing the b-word, because I felt it held us back. Why should we call each other that horrendous oppressive word? At that time, I refused to admit to another women being a bitch. Maybe she was having a hard day, maybe something awful just happened to her, maybe she had it rough... Or maybe, she really was a bitch and I just refused to admit it, because to call her one was to acknowledge this behavior in myself.

Whether it's Omarosa from The Apprentice or Janice Dickinson from whatever mindless show she happens to be on at the moment, I am starting to hear a certain phrase reverberate throughout the social classes. "Why is it that when a man is aggressive, he is applauded, yet when a women is aggressive, she is called a bitch?" While I will admit that there are times when men call women that to make up for things which they do not have, why is that women are unwilling to see that maybe, just maybe, these women are being called bitches, because THEY ARE? I'm sorry, but it walks like a bitch and talks like a bitch, chances are it's not a duck.

What I really mean to say is: Stop using that excuse for poor behavior!

Because to use that excuse is basically saying that women cannot be aggressive and assertive without being bitchy. And that is just not true. One can make their way through this world and even to the top without having to behave in a catty, disgusting manner that is often portrayed right before someone starts shouting that excuse from the rooftops.

So now, I call it like I see it. If I see a powerful woman conducting herself in a favorable way, I will say so. If I see a powerful woman conducting herself in a non-favorable way, I will say so, too. I'm no longer afraid of the b-word and all it entails. I am not afraid to admit that I, too, often succumb to bitchy behavior. And if it means that I am called a bitch, I accept that. I won't make excuses for myself, or rail at men, as if they are the ones to blame. We need to stop being afraid of this word. Instead, let's use it to better ourselves. Let's use it to look inward and ask, "Am I being a bitch?" Because just maybe, at that moment in time, we were. Let us curb the bitchiness, check it at the door. The sooner we do that, the sooner this word will no longer hurt us.

The truth is that just because women burned their bras and brought ourselves up the social ladder, does not mean that we are immune from the "bitch" label. If I see one of us acting in this manner, I will tell them, much in the same way I'd tell a girl that she had spinach stuck in her teeth. It is NOT becoming, it is NOT attractive. It is NOT the image that we should be trying to portray ourselves as.

So come on, ladies, stop using this excuse. Be proud, stand up and be a real woman.

A Devil's Kiss

These eyes have seen too much
For one so young,
But behind this smile is mayhem,
Dressed in a devilish grin,
Sweet perfection.

I could see you coming a mile away,
Slip beneath my boot heel,
It’s where you’ve always wanted to be,
You can feign guilt pretty well,
But you’re no match for me.

They can keep their judging eyes,
Like pigs wallowing in excrement,
I have no time for them,
There’s so much to be done,
How can they get in the way of perfection?

Come sit next to me,
As if you had a choice,
Innocence lost and maybe,
I liked it a little too much,
For all those crosses I’ve had to bear…

Just come and watch,
I’ll show you holy darkness,
Where the lowest valley in heaven,
Is also the highest peak in hell,
Savor every minute

When I pull the heart out of your chest,
Know that I do it
For all the wrong reasons,
To see if it still beats,
And to see whom it beats for.

Random Thoughts

Last Monday, Chris decided that the yard needed uh... maintenance. We've been seriously lazy this past year. I've avoided the yard, because it looks like a jungle back there. That combined with the fact that Sasha has been digging holes like mad, made me want to forget I even had a yard. Nevertheless, we both went to work. He mowed the lawn, while I went about trimming back future beanstalks.I ended up have to cut down two trees that had sprouted near our brick patio. To leave them would have ruined said patio, so they had to go. I swear, my yard is tree haven. They sprout up everywhere. Both trees were far taller than I was, but I managed to cut them down with a pair of hedge trimmers. Don't ask me how I managed to do it. I got clean cuts both times. I do have to say, it's much nicer back there. I now hate ivy with a passion.

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Yesterday, the A/C man came over to fix a line he'd accidently drilled into when installing our furnace. I had mentioned that anytime we turned on the air conditioner, it blew a fuse. He set about fixing the circuit breakers so that that wouldn't happen. Meanwhile, Kade was working a major boss battle that he'd never been able to defeat before. He glowed in triumph, as finally, he had beaten the big bad guy. Unfortunately for him, that was the exact moment that the A/C man managed to trip the fuse. All Kade's work was gone when the electricity went out. He stared at the television in hopeless frustration, before a few tears managed to trickle down his cheeks. I felt really bad for him. He tried so hard. I gave him a hug and we both went outside instead. After a few hours, he attempted it again and managed to beat it within minutes. Then he saved the game, carefully set down the controller and asked to go play outside again. Kids are funny like that.

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My Chris thinks that calling me every ten minutes to make sure I'm awake is helpful. But really, it just annoys me. Then I go back to sleep.

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When we went to Disney World, I had left the two dogs with my mother. Mom is quite fond of Sasha. She likes Angel too, but Angel is too prissy for her. The result of this was that when we came home Angel went through a week long depression. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I couldn't get her to play or anything. I think she was angry with me for leaving her behind. She's back to her old self now. But I just took her to the vet to get her teeth cleaned. She was very anxious this morning. She crawled up around my neck, so that I had to literally pry her claws off of me. I hope she doesn't get mad at me for this, too. Poor girl.

A Meme From Moi

All right, fine. Ya'll wanna do these meme things and pass them along. Cool, I'll make my own. This is how it works. Once you're tagged, you must go around your house taking pictures of things. Then you post the pictures for all to see. The subject categories for the pictures are as follows:

One picture of something you made
One picture of a gift someone gave you
One picture of something strange
One picture of something with a pig (Why a pig? Why not?)
And one picture of something unique

Here's mine.

Something unique: This is a framed photograph of a young my Chris giving a tour of the Pentagon to who else but Scottie from Star Trek. Pretty cool, huh?

A gift: This was from my mother to my Chris for his birthday. Since we have a Navy-themed family room, this went right along with it.

Something I made: I made this tray for the family room. Those are shells taken from Atlantic beach along with some white sand. I put the sand down, then the shells, then poured a mixture of "liquid glass" over the top. Once it dried, the sand and shells are sealed in the tray. I'm pretty proud of this.

Something strange: My son has a habit of sticking magnetic action figures throughout my house. This month, they've found their way to a spatula I have hanging in my kitchen.

Something pork-related: Eat your heart out, Swibirun. This is the picture I've been longing to show you. Butt Rub!!! One of my Chris' employees gave it to him as a gag gift, because they say he's a chauvinist pig. Heheheh

I tag Jodi, Char, Omar, Chuck (although I release you from the pork-related picture), Charles, Boiseladie, Judith, Astaryth and last but certainly not least, I tag the other white meat!! Have fun with this one, Chris!

Happy photo hunting!

Make me feel better, please

I'm still sick. I don't have the sinus infection anymore, but I think I have some sort of intestinal flu. Ick. I think if I could just throw up once, I'd feel so much better. I hate sitting around feeling nauseous. The worst thing is that I have so much to do today. Ugh.

Being that I haven't really done anything except lay around, watching movies, I thought I'd review a few I've seen.

Wolf Creek: Starts out extremely slow, then really doesn't go anywhere afterwards. Oh sure, there are a few gross out scenes that make you feel icky, but other than that, I'd pass on this one. Kind of lame, actually.

Cry Wolf: This is less slasher flick and more psychological thriller. It's not what I expected, it's better. It's a little different, but worth it. Nothing is what it seems. Oh and Jon Bon Jovi is in it, so yeah, there's eye candy for ya.

King Kong: This is another movie that starts out really slow. In fact, I'm sure Jackson could have cut an hour out of this movie and it wouldn't have lost anything. It's so long, but once the action picks up, it doesn't stop. I didn't really have that much enthusiasm going into this movie, but I have to say, it did it's job. I was entertained for three hours.

Chronicles of Narnia: Good kid film. My son actually sat through and watched the entire thing. That's huge, since he usually can't sit still long enough to watch a full-length movie. Usually, he'd give up and run outside to play, but he stuck it through with this one.

Kingdom Hearts II: Not a movie, but a game. I hate the beginning of this game. But once you finally get the main character, it picks up. I don't think it's going to be as good as the first, but so far it's still fun.

In a couple of days, Hostel comes out on dvd. Can't wait to see it. Also, Aeon Flux comes out later in the month. If I'm still sick, chances are my butt's going to be on the couch watching that one. I think the couch is starting to get Ari butt marks on there. I wish I could just feel normal. Such nice weather and I can't even enjoy it. The sad thing is that the employees of the local video store are beginning to know me by name. That's pathetic.

I'm 19 + 10

I am no longer 28. I am now 29. I woke up today and my age changed. That's all fine and dandy, except I woke up with the knowledge that kids born in 1986 are now 20. Scary.

I'm at the end of the twenties. I'd like to say that in my thirties, I will no longer wear sweats. I will wear nice suits and dress up each day. But the truth is I probably won't. I'm not really scared of turning thirty, but knowing that I'm at the end of my twenties is kind of sad. Like an end of an era for me. But then again, each ending is a new beginning.

It's ma friggin' birthday. It's David Letterman's birthday, too. Maybe I'll catch his show later on tonight. Wow, I'm boring myself here. When did I get boring? Damn. That sneaks up on ya. Like age. I'm getting old. That's all right. I'll rock this place old fogey-style. Live it up. Or maybe... I'll go back to bed. I'm still tired. Yeah, that sounds good.

Aahhh, birthday naps are the best.

The Beauty of Parenthood

This past weekend was just awful. It all started when I called Chris on Friday to come home and help my pathetic butt off the floor. Ugh, I was a mess. A pukey, achy feverish mess. Thank goodness I have such a great guy that he did come home right away to take care of me. I just hate that he had to. I hate not feeling up to par. My son had made arrangements to be picked up by a friend, so that he may spend the weekend over at his house. That was good in that he was away while I was sick. By the time Sunday came, I know both Chris and I missed him terribly. And so it was that last night, while Kade laid his head against my stomach while we watched King Kong, I had a thought come into my head.

I am not just a parent, I am a pillow. My arms are swings. My legs are slides. My shoulders are a place to sit and view the world on high. My back is a jungle gym from which to cling. My butt is a punching bag. My body can be molded into a fort-like position to take refuge. My hands are sometimes rocks, sometimes paper and sometimes scissors. My feet are made to be poked. My ears are secret-keepers, holding onto those tiny little whispers. My lips can cure most ailments. My nose honks. But most of all, I am a pillow. Safety and security all right there to hold.

So much I wanna say

The thing about best friends is that they can talk for years and never run out of things to say. Char and I are much the same, but we also have quirky conversations too. For example, Jack Wild died a little while ago. This was heartbreaking to the both of us, as we'd just looked up his picture to see what he looked like after he grew up. We both love looking up child actors to see what they look like now.

The other day, one of the greatest movies of all time was on tv. So I had to look up one of the actors to see what he looked like now:

Does this ring a bell to anyone? Can you place him? No? OK hang on,

Now do you know who this guy is? Pretty awesome, huh? It's Short Round for you Indiana Jones fans, Data for you Goonies fans. He grew up. Sigh. He was my favorite Goonie. Right alongside Chunk.

My son is downstairs trying his best to bring his fever down. He hates missing school. He is upset because he knew that going on vacation meant no perfect attendance record for March. And now being sick means no perfect attendance record for April too. Plus he's missing out on the last installment of the state test for second graders.

Let me go into this test for a minute. I am not a big fan of the "No child left behind" act. Sure, I agree that in theory, it sounds great. But in practice, it doesn't work. They give these kids these statewide tests to ensure that they all know what they've been taught. My son will get high scores on this test. He always does. This SHOULD mean that they will teach him a more advanced curriculum to be at his level, BUT IT DOES NOT. The teachers will keep him on par with the other kids in the class, because his high scores pull the curve up, therefore making them more money for the school.

Combine that with the fact that we all know that these tests do not go against their normal grades, right? Or so we thought, but they still get held on their permanent record. Which is what the teacher told my son. Which is why on Sunday night, my seven year old son was up at four in the morning with test anxiety. I told him that the test really doesn't matter, but he was insistent that since it was on his permanent record that it was a big deal. Why do they do that? They shouldn't have put so much pressure on these kids. That really pissed me off.

And now he's sick. Which means, he's missed the last day of testing. Sure, he'll be able to make that up and all. It just upsets me that he's downstairs (in the basement, the coldest place in the house) willing his fever to go down from a 102 degrees so that he can take this test. That test can be shoved up his teacher's ass for all I care. Permanent record... who tells a kid that? Disgusting.

All right, I got that rant out. Sorry but it just needed to be said.

As far as I go, I have noticed that I tend to read blogs that I recieve alerts for first. I don't recieve alerts for all the blogs I normally read, so this means that somewhere along the line, I've been slacking lately. I promise to get to the blogs that I've missed. I feel guilty about it and all. I should be a better commenter and all that jazz. I promise to be better!

Ok, I'm out. I'm gonna go drag my son out of the basement and lie to him that his temperature is normal now. Sigh.

Goo Dog

I just spent the day with a handsome young man that listened to every word I said with complete awe and undivided attention. He was so engrossed in listening to me speak to him in soft tones, that I'm sure he drooled. Oh sure, it could've been the fact that he was only ten months old... but I'd like to think it was because I am just that wondrous. The world may never know, as the only responses I got back from him were "Goo Dog". He said that everytime Angel barked our way. If you ask me, I'm pretty sure he was attempting the word "gorgeous", in which case, I'd have to agree with him.

Then we took a nap, because being entertaining and charming really takes it right out of ya. I'm exhausted.

Tidbits

Last night, as we sat huddled under a table in the emergency room in our basement, I had only one thought in mind...

Why didn't we pick THIS week to go on vacation?!

The tornado missed us by twenty miles.

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For your listening pleasure, Detached and Indifferent Expressions WITH A SOUNDTRACK!

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While I was away, there was some sort of blog six pick thingie going on or something. I would just like to take the time to thank Tawnya and Boiseladie for choosing me. I am honored. Thanks so much. Now as for the rest of you, go read these fine two ladies. They are da bomb!

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Swibirun, I haven't forgotten about your other white meat self. That picture is coming, I promise. You will love it, I think. Oh and btw, your music is hilarious. Now that song will be in my head all day.

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While driving through the mountains on the way home from our trip, we went through Mt. Airy. It's nice of them to name a mountain after me, but dang, they spelled my name wrong. Story of my life.