Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sister Wives

Okay, let me just start by taking a deep breath. *sigh in and sigh out* Yes, I really do have to do that even just to write this, because I feel like I just entered another dimension. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but I will tell you now: I am not perfect. As if you couldn't tell, heh. I know I am not perfect, not by any means. No one is. And I try hard not to be judgemental of others (one of my faults), but I just cannot hold my tongue on this.

I am not part of the Fundamentalist Mormons as seen on tv. I could never be. I just don't have that in me. I am too outspoken, loud, jealous, and downright mouthy to ever be in a plural marriage and because I value myself more than that. (Oh, there goes that judgemental thing again.) But honestly, I say that because I look at myself and my husband's relationship, our intimacy, our love, our commitment to each other and I value THAT. I just cannot ever see how that could be when more than two people are involved.

I don't see it in this "Sister Wives" program, either. Oh, I get the four women. I get their lifestyle, how they interact with each other, their feelings, their relationship, that's easy. They definitely are a sisterhood. I love that about them. They are very patient and loving with one another, even when they are feeling jealous. It's when the husband comes in that I start feeling a wee bit queasy. First of all, he is ... not that easy to look at. I don't mean that in a vain way. It's just that he gives off a not-all-quite-there-but-very-cheesy vibe. If that makes sense. I am not talking about his looks, per se. Because to look at him, eh, he's okay, but when he opens his mouth, oh my... well, one has to wonder if he swallowed paint chips as a child.

I found myself getting angry when Meri (wife #1) tells him of her feelings of jealousy over the upcoming addition to wife #4 and his reaction is "Oh let's have a baby." Um, really? He does know that women have more to them than baby-making parts, right? I can see he tries to empathize with them, but in all honesty, I don't think it matters. He's just going to go ahead and do what he wants anyway, regardless of anyone's feelings but his own. The wives are the ones left to change and adapt to HIS needs. What about theirs?

This is not marriage. Marriage is about teamwork and commitment. Marriage is about love and fidelity. Marriage is fifty/fifty. Each gives and takes. The women have it down. If it were just them, I'd say they would be better off being married to each other without him. Because when they speak to each, they acknowledge and understand. But whenever they speak in his presence, he gets this bewildered and confused look, as if he didn't realize they knew how to speak. And what are those sounds coming out of her throat? Words? Nooooo, that can't be. Better let him go flip his Gary Busey looking hair a few more times.

Maybe I am just being overly judgemental. This is entirely possible, but I just don't understand the appeal of this lifestyle GIVEN the example of the man partaking in it. He is a sorry excuse for a monkey, let alone a male human. And this is the part where I have to say, "Ari, this is not your life. You don't have to understand it." And this is oh, so true. I don't have to understand their lifestyle or believe in it. I don't even have to watch it. So instead, I can just change the channel and sigh. To each their own.