Dream A Little Dream

In a lot of ways, I am not like other people. I realize this, but at the same time, I think there are some universal quirks that unite people the world over... like eating the cheese that gets stuck to the wrapper of your cheeseburger. Obviously, I'm not the only one that does this, as one of the fast food chains just had a commercial on it. The thing is that before this commercial, I felt self-conscious about it. Because there's the cheese on the paper looking so edible but if I pick it off and eat it in public, will I look weird?! Now I won't feel so bad about doing it.

I want to see if one of my own personal little quirks might not only be mine. Maybe other people do this, too. I have weird little habits where if they aren't done properly, I don't feel comfortable. I guess you could say it's like I am putting a little order and structure to my everyday life in the most ridiculous ways. The volume for any electronic device must be on an even number or a number divided by five. Silly, right?

One of the biggest quirks is dreaming. Not dreaming itself, but the way in which I dream. I can't just have a dream. It HAS to make sense. If there is absolutely no logic in my dream, I will wake up pissed off, revise it and go back to sleep with the revision in my head, awaiting me to dream a little more. If I do manage to dream a dream that doesn't make sense without waking up, I consider it a fluff dream, like eating cotton candy for dinner.

Val Kilmer and Ryan Phillippe popped in my head last week. I was walking around the mall holding Ryan's hand, while casually looking over and flirting with Val, who was sitting in the food court. Why in the hell would they be in a mall in my hometown, first of all... and second, why am I holding Ryan Phillippe's hand, as if we are a couple? And why am I nineteen in this dream!? Ok, REVISE! ... Hm... well, it IS a dream, so we'll keep the nineteen part. That makes sense because I wasn't married to Chris then, so I'm not cheating in my dream. Val and Ryan perhaps are shooting a movie in my hometown, so that makes a little more sense, but they'd never be in a mall so.... ok, location change. We're now in a ritzy hotel lobby. There we go, this dream is working out a bit more now. *Back to sleep*

Tell me I'm not the only one who does this.

I Hope They Read This

It's always so disappointing when you find out someone's true nature. I mean, for once, I'd like to find out someone was better than I thought they were. I guess those are very rare instances. You know what I really cannot stand? People that will not only be nice to you, be your friend, but ones that sing your praise, only to find out that they've been speaking ill of you behind your back. I hate followers. I hate pansies that will just go with the flow so that they will never have to stand for anything. I hate self-righteous people. I hate people that attack and try to tear you down, when all you wanted was to do something good. What really burns me is that I've called some of these people "friends". Guess I was wrong. It must be painful sleeping in the bed they've made.

We Sing A Lot

I'm just coming off a mini-vacation, only to find myself tagged. Heh, shrugs, all right! Songs eh? Before I begin, I should note that Chris is the tagger and also I am supposed to link Holly and Loz, although I don't know why. I should probably go back and read all the way through those blogs. Hi, I'm lazy. Hell you know what? Jodi tagged Chris. There, that enough links? No? All right, fine. I'll tag Charles, Char, Heather, Omar (where is he anyway?!) and whoever else loves music.

Now, I shall begin. *commence menacing music*

Eh, just kidding.

Five songs that impacted my life...

I Love The Way You Love Me ~ John Michael Montgomery

My Chris sings it to me anytime we go out. It's really weird how the lyrics of this song fit us to a tee. Perhaps the fact that he serenaded me with this song wooed me a bit. Hmm, I think I've caught on to his little game...

In The Arms Of The Angels ~ Sarah Mclachlan

I'm not listing my favorite songs, but rather the ones that impacted my life. This is probably one of the biggest. I can't listen to it. I can't sing it. It was played at Logan's funeral. Enough said.

Nobody Lives Without Love ~ Eddie Reader

Okay, I admit, perhaps I did a bit of serenading of my own. I used to sing this to my Chris. I very rarely sing it, because I want it to remain special.

True ~ Ryan Cabrera

Man, I never realized how much we sing in my household until I started this list. This song is one that Kade sings only to me. He won't sing it if anyone else is around.

A Thousand Years ~ Sting

My all-time favorite song. You can find it in the music box on the sidebar. It should be the first thing you hear when this page loads. I listen to it at least once a day. I think it helps remind me to value the ones I love. You know? I could live a thousand years, but I'm still gonna love them no matter what. That sort of thing.

Anyway, those are the songs. I've tagged those that should be tagged... I've completed this task. Now, I'm going to go enjoy the last few hours of my mini-vacation before they drag my ass back to work kicking and screaming. I wouldn't go any other way.

This Shit Only Happens To Me, I Swear

My Chris comes home, bares his chest and declares that he is going to mow the lawn. Ya know, to get a suntan and all that. There are easier ways to get a suntan, but he's a definite multitasker. And I am lazy. He begins mowing the lawn, while I decide to be a smartass. My plan is to go sit in the hammock while he mows the lawn. It is the easiest way to irritate him for sure.

The thing that I am not thinking about is the fact that we never did bring that hammock in for the winter. All winter long, it sat in the cold and rain, the rope becoming tired and worn. I sit down lazily smiling to myself. Truth be told, I actually do get in a few good swings before I hear, RRRRRIIIIIIIIIP!

"Oh shit."

I look up to see a hole just above where my head is. My first thought is: Damn, he's gonna be pissed. My second thought is: Oh holy hell, it's still ripping. I squirm, trying to wrangle myself out of the ropes, but they only seem to keep me in. At this point, my feet and head are high in the air, while my ass drags, barely brushing the ground with each gentle sway. This is about the time where I start giggling, because I can only imagine what the neighbors think.

I realize that I can't make it up on my own, so I signal to Chris. The problem is that he is on the other side of the lawn with the lawnmower muting any sound I make. So my ass sits there for about five minutes while he works his way over to me. The entire time, my ass sinks further and further to the ground. By the time he pushes the mower past me, he only sees my fingers and toes wriggling. He thinks to himself: Now, that doesn't look right. He stops the mower and casually strolls over to have a look. His hands rest on his hips as he looks down on me.

"What are you doing?"

What am I doing? Oh well, that can be answered simply. I merely wanted to check the courseness of the pavement on my ass. Surely this is the best way to achieve that. What am I doing?! Hello!

"Help me, Chris, I've fallen and I can't get up," I gasp in between laughter.

"Only you can get stuck in a hammock," he replies.

Respect Mah Authoritah, Even When I'm On The Toilet

And that concludes the longest title ever.

Heheh, kidding. I've totally made longer ones.

Wanna see how many one-liners I can get in this entry?

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I was minding my own business in the kitchen, when I realized that the dishwasher needed to be cleared out. Tch, fine. So I began the process of organizing the dishes to be put away, stacking plates, that sort of thing. Kade's job is to put away all the pots, pans and utensils. I put away all that is breakable. It's a good situation for the both of us; it works well.

So I tell Kade, "Put these away, put that away, blah blah..."

Suddenly I feel the need to GO. Now after nine months of Kade sleeping on my bladder while I was pregnant with him, when I feel the need to go, it is directly proportional to the exact moment that I NEED TO GO. Apparently my brain receives the "pee" signal a little late, giving me mere moments to get to the john. Usually this is fine and dandy, unless you are riding with me down highway 55 and I've just told you I need to go AFTER we've already passed any near gas stations. Then... not so good. But I digress, because I can still make it. I can hold forever. I refuse to pee myself.

Anyway, I run to bathroom in the middle of my dishwasher instructions. This does not stop me from giving said instructions all the while I am in the midst of sitting on the john. Our downstairs bathroom is right off the kitchen, so he can hear me fine.

Chris walks in, hears me yelling out instructions to a child who is putting the dishes away by himself, mind you, and says to the child, "Are you going to let her talk to you that way?!"

And the child, all-knowing and brilliant that he is, gives his father a crazy look and says incredulously, "Yes, I am."

I laughed so hard that I totally peed. But it was okay, cuz I was on the john.

A Few New Quirks

If I had to deal with myself on a daily basis, I probably would've strangled me by now. I know, I'm working on it. But choking yourself just isn't as effective as having someone else do it for you.

See? I knew you'd smile.

In all seriousness, now that I have to deal with people, I'm finding strange character flaws within myself. Like the one particular flaw in my head that makes up terrible nicknames for people, then forgets not to call them that in person. Yeah, that's a great one. Sorry, Shifty, but you are shifty and a tad shady, as well.

Apparently, I also have a very animated face. You never realize these things when you're alone. I mean, unless you sit in front of a mirror everyday... which I don't... anymore. So these things are a surprise to me. To tell you the truth, I really don't know how to fix these sorts of things without being completely self-conscious and vulnerable. We all know I can't do that. So I guess I'm stuck with these flaws.

I guess it could be worse. I could be stuck with a goiter on my ass. (No offense to those stuck with a goiter on your ass. I'm just saying, pop the damn thing already.) Yeah, we'll end it there.