I Do What I Want!

Charles thinks that I won't do this, so following my nature, I am proving him wrong. *raspberry*


A- Available or Single? Available or single? Uh... isn't that redundant? I'm neither.
B- Best Friend. Chris and Char and my mom. And Ha. And Sam. But I haven't talked to the last two in awhile.
C- Chocolate cake or chocolate pie? Chocolate pie. Mmmm... pie.
D- Dress up or casual? (your typical attire) Casually dressed up.
E- Essential Item. Me.
F- Favorite Color. Black. Oh yeah, it's a color. I'm bringing it back.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms. I was introduced to the bears first, but I have to say that the worms are much more fun. You can put them in your mouth, then slide them back out and they're all shiny with ... saliva. Still, it's cool looking.
H- Hobbies. Does ass-kicking count?
I- Indulgence. Slim Jims. And once a year, cheesecake. But only once a year.
J- January or February. April
K- Kids. Yes, please.
L- Life is incomplete without…the ones you love. And me.
M- Money or Love (unlimited)choose only one. Love. I love love. It's so fun and fulfilling. And when you think about it, it's so much easier and less time-consuming than full on hate.
N- Night Owl or Morning Person. Hoot.
O- Oranges or Apples? Watermelon.
P- Phobias/Fears. Losing those I love, mice, large crowds, mice, big ugly rats, dead things and lastly, mice.
Q- Quote personally from you. The defining things that makes you "you" are never done in a large crowd. Those aspects that define you are the things done when you think no one else is watching.
R- Rock Star or Actor (which would you be?) Hmmm... I can't choose. I think I shall be a Rocktor. You know, after that whole undercover assassin thing gets old.
S- Share something you've learned recently. It's not a recent lesson, but one that tends to repeat itself in my life. I've learned that there are people out there that think nothing of tearing you to shreds. I've learned that there are people out there that are so selfish that they are unwilling to see beyond themselves. I've learned to protect myself from these people... but once in awhile, I fall back on my optimistic line of thinking that people are inherently good. It always ends up biting me in the ass. Because of these people, I have learned not to trust.
T- Tag Three People. When I was in a grade school, our version of tag consisted of running up behind the person, giving them a bear hug, kissing them on the cheek, then running away. I think nowadays, that would be considered an attack. Even though I said all that, it changes nothing. I am totally willing to grade-school attack Heather, Jeff and Char. Totally Char.
U- Unknown or little known fact about you. You know this is the hardest question, because I'm not sure I have an answer. I pretty lay it all out there for everyone to see. And I do not give a shit. But let me think here. Okay, I got it. Parfois, je pleure. Je ne sais pas pourquoi. Parfois, je ne peux pas m'arreter. Mais seulement quand je suis seule.
V– Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals. Bring on the beef!!!! Slabs of it, 'cuz if I were a cow, I'd want you to eat me. Seriously, put me out of my misery.
W- Worst habit/habits. I'm a total slob. Then I blame it on others, because I have to clean it anyway. I might as well blame it on them.
X– XXXXs or OOOOs. I'm a big fan of the "x", but you can never count out those "o"s. They have a habit of coming out my mouth at odd intervals, usually followed by "God, yes."
Y- Your "first love" ...what was their name? Adrian. What a dipshit he was. I hope he reads that.
Z- Zodiac sign. Aries! Big surprise, right?

In Case You Didn't Know...

I hate being shushed!!!!

No one tells me to be quiet! And yet, I can't figure out how to comment. Ever since they switched that beta thing over, I can't seem to comment on anyone's blog. I'm still here!!!! I still love you all!! I miss you and I hate that I can't seem to get through!

I do admit, I have been busy though, so that's mainly why I haven't solved the riddle on how to comment. I still read though. I'm sorry, Jodi, that you lost all your writing. I went through a similar thing, although, fortunately I was able to recover mine. But the feeling of losing all that work, all that emotion and everything that went into it... I know, hon. I hope you will be able to recover it, I do. I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Chris, I hadn't seen that commercial about the axe-murder guy before. When I watched it, guess what I thought? THAT'S SO WRONG!

Charles, oh yeah, I'll be haunting you forever. Eventually, there will be Ari signs all over the world. Mwahahaha!

I wanted to comment to Mary and didn't get a chance, but oh hon that entry on Sarah was just heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time. Tears, just tears streaming down my cheeks. What a beautiful girl.

I actually went to Astaryth's blog the other day, because a few years ago, she posted a link to the Somorost game. (I love that game.) While I was there, I got to look around. See, I remember what you guys write. You guys have impacted me, too. And I miss you... in case you didn't know.

Five Little Angels

Last weekend, a man set fire to his cousin's home after a long-standing family feud. Unbeknownst to him, his cousin's five children were inside sleeping. All five children died. This happened five blocks from my home. One of the children went to the same school as Kade. In fact, his classroom was right across the hall.

The Quincy community has set up a memorial outside the home. People passing by have been leaving flowers and cards. The school district closed school for this coming Tuesday, so that the children could go to the funeral.

*********

We were standing in the grocery line, waiting to check out. As usual, Kade was over by the candy, scoping out goodies that I'd probably say "No" to anyway.

"There's Camron," he said with a note of shock in his voice.

"What?"

"In the newspaper, there's Camron. I recognized him immediately."

I picked up a newspaper from the bin. There were the five children. Even though I'd already paid for my things, I laid the newspaper on the counter anyway, then dug out a dollar from my pocket. We brought it home and read it together.

"Gosh, I just saw him, Mom. On Friday, I just saw him. Now he's not going to be there. I mean, we weren't friends or anything. I didn't really know him, but I knew who he was. He was really funny."

It's just heartbreaking. There's really not much I can tell him. He watches the news. He understands what happened. And he knows what death is. The truth is that I don't even know what to tell myself. How can this happen? Five wonderful, beautiful children... my heart goes out to their family.

http://video.nbc5.com/player/?id=91954

Bringing Back Mythology

My son, my love, the apple of my eye, the beat of my heart, my one pure joy... he tells me that he believes he is supposed to worship Hermes. How did that come about? The solar system, that's how.

I tried to teach this kid about the solar system, the planetary models and such and all he connects with is the fact that they are named after roman/greek gods. I tried to explain why Pluto is no longer considered a planet, but his only reply was, "Well, that makes sense. Pluto shouldn't be a planet, because all the other gods were on Mt. Olympus, while Hades (Pluto) was in the Underworld."

"Stay with me, Kade. The solar system has little to do with mythology with the exception of the names, okay? Now, Mercury is the closest to the sun. It revolves around the sun the fastest-"

"Yeah, 'cuz Hermes was the messenger of the gods, because he was the fastest."

"Right. Let's stay on track here."

"You know, I'm a Virgo."

"That's great, Kade."

"Virgos are all about doing things by the book. They plan things just so. You know that is so me. Hermes was like that, too. I'm just like that, Mom."

"I'm beginning to see that. The second planet--"

"I think I'm like Hermes. I think I'm supposed to worship him. I think he's my god."

"Okay, you do realize that it's greek MYTHology, right?"

"Yeah, but if we all had gods, he'd be mine."

"No one believes in any of this. They're great stories, honey, but they're myths."

"Well, I believe it. And you should, too. If we didn't have mythology, we'd not have names for all those planets there."

You know, a child's sense of wonder and truth is so amazing sometimes. We ended up spending the rest of our time finding similarities between the planets and the gods. He enjoyed it. For the life of me, I just didn't have the heart to shatter his perception of "mythology". I think instead, I shall sit back and let him discover his own truth.

The Art Of Living

Well, as of Thursday, I am no longer in my twenties. I've now met a new milestone. So what's different?

Not much. I'm still pretty vocal about what I believe in or my opinions. I'm still ready to perfrom verbal castrations at the drop of a hat. In fact, last week just re-affirmed the thought that I should carry a spare carving knife and thesaurus with me. Ya know, just in case I run into any more of those pansy yokels that try to bring me or my loved ones down. What can I say? You mess with me or my own, prepare for a fight. And I hold grudges forever, I really do. That's not really a maturity thing. I believe I will always be that way. It's part of my DNA. Yes, I have the "beat up the pansy" gene.

Now before I offend a bunch of people, I should say that I am not against men and that's not what this is about. I am against those pansies, men AND women, who do not possess an ounce of integrity, honor or honesty within them. Those are the people I'd verbally castrate. THEY ARE THE PANSIES. I'm so sick and tired of pansies running things. It doesn't matter where you are or what you do, politicking and "cliques" will always happen. It's sad that this is a part of the human condition.

All that being said, I had a great birthday!!!!! My wonderful non-pansy husband sent me flowers and cake at work. The consensus from my female coworkers was that he remains the best husband ever. I agreed, although I think they might have been a little biased, being that they said it with cake in their mouths. Oh well, I'll take it as true!

He then took me to dinner, where I ordered a white peach sangria. Ordinarily, I do not drink, but it was my birthday and peach sounded soooo good. I had to keep Kade away, because he kept eyeing the cherry and limes on the side of my glass. (As an aside, my Kade has gone on yet another health kick. He is now demanding fruit on my grocery list, as well as doing as many sit-ups as he can. I'm not complaining by any means; I just sometimes wonder if he truly came from my womb.)

I think that with the thirties, I am being brought into the "kick-ass-and-take-names-later" phase of my life. I'm not as uncertain or unsure of myself. The thing is that I caught myself thinking, "I just don't have time for bullshit like this," the other day. I thought about it. It's true. I don't have time to waste hemming and hawwing on bullshit. I'd rather tell it like it is and move onto more important things. Because I don't have forever. Yes, I know I'm not old by any means, but I could die tomorrow. And if I did die, I'd like my enemies to know that I think they're scum. But more importantly, I'd like to die with the thought that my loved ones KNOW I loved them as much as truly possible, that I did right by them as much as I could and that I was there for them.

At the end of the day, I either hated you with the fire of a thousand suns, or I loved you with more passion than any human could muster. It's those ups and downs that make life what it is. I never did want to be caught coasting in the middle. I want to know I truly lived.

A Letter To A Man

There is so much I want to say. There is so much I have to tell, but I won't. In the end, it might hurt the very ones that need the help the most. It just hurts to see a man devote himself to a cause, sacrifice to this cause, do everything humanly possible for a cause, only to have the leaders of said cause turn their backs on him and dismiss him, as if he were not worthy of their presence. The worst thing is that he is not the only one who sacrifices. Those are made daily by people who ask for the truth, but receive nothing in return.

I know the truth. I just have to patient and wait, for I truly believe that everyone else involved will eventually know the truth as well. There are posturing, self-righteous, egocentric, self-serving men that will always seek to divide. And then there are men like my best friend, who will do the right thing, even if it means that it will be his downfall. So be it.

To my best friend, my husband, the one who makes me laugh, I say this to you: No matter what they say or do, your actions speak louder than their words. They aren't worthy to stand in your shadow. You will always be my hero. I would fight for you 'til the end.

Your loving wife,
Ari

Perserverance

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther King Jr.

This quotation is giving me strength and hope today.