This Apple Fell And Rolled Away From The Tree
Hi, my name is Ari and my husband is a family tree addict. That is, he is addicted to geneology. Usually, if there were a riddle or puzzle to be solved, Kade and I would be right on that. But my Chris, having been tasked with the ever-challenging question of "who are my great grandparents and their parents?", has devoted every effort to answer this question. It's a weird question. Most people know their family. My family is riddled with secrets and "Oh, we don't talk about that" nonsense.
He has searched almost every record. And he is figuring out my family tree, slowly, but it takes hours and hours. And even then, we just aren't sure. When you have a stubborn family that fights with each other enough to make one change their surname, it gets complicated. Also, in my family, no one calls each other by their real name. So the woman that I lovingly called "Aunt Polly" will never be found on any record as that name. Her real name was Radine or something weird like that. How do you get Polly out of that?! That and the fact that a few them went crazy at the end. When they told crazy deathbed stories, are you supposed to believe them? I mean, hairspray-drinking crazy people. I am not even lieing; I will never forget that 'til the day I die. One of them sprayed hairspray into the hairspray cap and drank it like it was orange juice. I am pretty sure that one was schizophrenic, but still. That's an odd sight for a ten year old Ari.
My Chris is spending hours upon hours searching census records and looking up headstones. At some point, I think every person in my family gave up on that. I don't have a family tree, I have a maze of vines. You ain't cutting through that. Unless you are my Chris. Who has somehow gotten my tree back to the 1700's. I think he missed his calling. I really think he should have been a detective.
So, he starts doing his own family tree. Heh. Oh, I have never seen some of these names before. Novazerula. That was a first name! Her last name was Smith! Sounds more like a place to me. "Come enjoy the vast breathtaking scenery of Novazerula on your next vacation!" Hehehe. Oh me. I wonder what my greatgrandchildren will think if they ever try to look me up on the family tree. "She was a gun-toting video game addict who enjoyed screaming at her bosses and long walks on the beach..."
He has searched almost every record. And he is figuring out my family tree, slowly, but it takes hours and hours. And even then, we just aren't sure. When you have a stubborn family that fights with each other enough to make one change their surname, it gets complicated. Also, in my family, no one calls each other by their real name. So the woman that I lovingly called "Aunt Polly" will never be found on any record as that name. Her real name was Radine or something weird like that. How do you get Polly out of that?! That and the fact that a few them went crazy at the end. When they told crazy deathbed stories, are you supposed to believe them? I mean, hairspray-drinking crazy people. I am not even lieing; I will never forget that 'til the day I die. One of them sprayed hairspray into the hairspray cap and drank it like it was orange juice. I am pretty sure that one was schizophrenic, but still. That's an odd sight for a ten year old Ari.
My Chris is spending hours upon hours searching census records and looking up headstones. At some point, I think every person in my family gave up on that. I don't have a family tree, I have a maze of vines. You ain't cutting through that. Unless you are my Chris. Who has somehow gotten my tree back to the 1700's. I think he missed his calling. I really think he should have been a detective.
So, he starts doing his own family tree. Heh. Oh, I have never seen some of these names before. Novazerula. That was a first name! Her last name was Smith! Sounds more like a place to me. "Come enjoy the vast breathtaking scenery of Novazerula on your next vacation!" Hehehe. Oh me. I wonder what my greatgrandchildren will think if they ever try to look me up on the family tree. "She was a gun-toting video game addict who enjoyed screaming at her bosses and long walks on the beach..."
posted by Ari at 7:14 AM
3 Comments:
God, I love that woman!
My dad has been doing all of that stuff for about 10 years since he retired and has a ton of documentation and my mother's side has already been done so there's not much left for me to do. Alexis' dad did that DNA thing where they trace your genetic origins and we found that she's part ancient eskimo. Oh I've had fun with that tidbit of information, teasing her.
I tried it for a while but realized that it would probably cost a fair amount of money, each month, to do so.
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