Knocked Up

No, I am not pregnant.

I came home from a rough day at work to find my son guzzling a liter of Pepsi. I demanded to know how he got that Pepsi. He told me his father bought it for him.

"Yeah, I've been sort of knocked up on Pepsi for awhile."

"Knocked up, huh? Kade, do you even know what 'knocked up' means?"

"Yeah, it means 'drunk', doesn't it?"

"No. No, it doesn't. It means pregnant."

Big pause.

"Ohhhhh. So that means you've been knocked up before, huh Mom?"

**************

Apparently my son has inherited the part of his father's brain that tells (or rather doesn't tell) him that he's asleep. So they both act out their dreams. I don't mean they talk in their sleep, either. They literally act out their dreams, which can be quite comical. Unless it's a fighting dream, in which case, duck and cover.

I have found my husband fast asleep making coffee, doing laundry, giving slideshow presentations to an empty living room... That last one had me rolling. And now my son.

My Kade went down the living room, where his father had fallen asleep on the couch. He picked up a hanger on the way. Chris woke to a tapping at his feet. Kade was mumbling something angrily and shaking that hanger at my Chris. I wasn't there, so I didn't get to see the look on either of their faces, but I bet if I had been there, I'd have peed my pants. Chris finally realized Kade was completely asleep the whole time. He gently asked Kade what he was doing, but Kade would only mumble incoherently. So Chris took him to bed. The next morning, Kade had no recollection of the entire episode. Man, I wished I had been there to see it.

I always tell people that you can call my house anytime, because someone will be up. It's true, too. They may not be awake, but someone will always be up.