When It Rains

Wow, so it's been awhile. I wish I could write here as much as I did before. I wish life would allow me the time, because right now, so much has happened so fast that I don't even know what to think. I don't have time to muse over things like before, so it's all been trapped inside. Or maybe a part of me just didn't want to write about anything.

When it rains, it pours. For the last couple of months, I've had a rain cloud over my head. You know, if I believed in such things, I'd almost think that someone has hexed me. If I believed in such things, but I don't. Life just sometimes sucks ass.

My Chris was terminated over something SOMEONE ELSE did. Makes sense, doesn't it? That's okay, because now his employer has to pay him to NOT work. Hahah, life is funny. I love him being home, though. He's a much better house person that I ever was. He's good at everything, though. So that news was pretty devastating, given that he'd given that employer thirteen FUCKING YEARS of his life, turned four stores into million dollar stores, received manager of the district the previous two months before termination, they just up and gave him the axe. Bastards. Don't ever partake in Advance Auto Parts. They do not care about their employees. Buycott the bastards.

My son was in not one but two bus accidents, the second of which sent my husband into a crazed lunatic mode. That bus driver definitely knows who he is now. Heh. Doesn't matter though, that bus driver won't be driving my son around ever again. Kade is okay. Still, it pissed me off.

And I ... well, I had to rediscover what it means to live. We take it all for granted, we do. We take each day for granted that we will be here, that we will get to do our everyday things, that we will get to kiss each other goodnight every night. We do that until our doctor, who is a brilliant and wonderful man, by the way, scratches his head in frustration. We do that until he orders a test to see what exactly is wrong. We take it for granted until we get a phone call saying there is a growth on one of the ovaries.

Now, before I go on, I have to admit that I am probably the queen of overreaction. I am one to use a hammer to kill a fly, an entire towel to stop the bleeding from a papercut... you know what I mean. But this sucked. And I tried so hard to just not worry about it. To just let it go until I knew exactly what was wrong, but it's hard. I started thinking about all those things, that no thirty year old woman should be thinking about. Who will take care of Kade and know all his little indiosyncrasies? What will my Chris do? And it's stupid, it really is, because at that point I knew little. All I knew was that I hurt, big time. The pain in my abdomen doubled me over. For the first time since I started back to work, I took a day off. The pain went on for over a month, until I couldn't bear it anymore and then I went back to the doctor.

Here's the funny part. The pain was on the wrong side. It was my left ovary that had the cyst. My right side was the side that hurt. All tests came back normal (except for that ovary). Finally my doc had an "Aha" moment. I had more than one problem. He thought I was passing a kidney stone. Nope. But it did turn out that I had a severe kidney infection, as well as, the troublesome ovary. So yesterday, I went to the specialist to find out about that ovary. And the result? I am fine!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness! I am to take follow up tests just to be sure, but he doesn't believe I have ovarian cancer. It would be as rare as winning the lottery for someone my age. Now, my luck, my damn ovary will win me the fucking lottery and keel me over. But we won't go there.

Chris' prospects are looking up, too. People are calling. Interviews are happening. Even though the economy has gone to shit, we haven't lost much to the stock market. We are going to okay, I think. But you know, sometimes you need these things to happen. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you need a little jolt or scare to put things back into perspective. Don't get me wrong, I still hope Advance goes belly up and people realize what a heartless corporation they are. But I still have my Chris and my Kade and my health. Besides, it can rain all it wants. Because after it rains, there's always a chance for a rainbow.