Some things I just need to get off my chest
Sort of a continuation of yesterday's Maria Mena rant...
Dear P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean John, or whatever the hell you feel like calling yourself today,
Would you just pick a f***ing band already?!
Sincerely,
Totally over it.
Dear Donald Duck..err Trump,
How many brown-nosers does it take to NOT tell you that that hair isn't working for ya. You're a douche.
Sincerely,
Not digging it.
Dear MTV,
I think you should personally be held responsible for the next generation's self-absorbed, materialistic and shallow ways. Putting out shows like "Sweet Sixteen", "Next" etc. only teaches kids that people are easily replaced and getting everything you want in life without working for it is the way to go. I hate you.
Sincerely,
Remembering when the "M" stood for music.
Dear Paris Hilton,
Would you be so kind as to eliminate yourself from the gene pool? Please?
Sincerely,
I never liked you.
Dear Judge Dan from "So you think you can dance",
You're not all that. Seriously, you're not.
Sincerely,
I can dance better than you.
P.S. My son thinks the opening song of your show is "Ba da bum da bum dance."
P.P.S. The judge sitting next to you has horse teeth. Really white ones.
Dear Ted Nugent,
I'm starting to believe you can do no wrong.
Sincerely,
Amazed.
Dear Toni Braxton,
Whatever happened to you? Where are you?
Sincerely,
A fan.
Dear Sprint,
You're pissing me off. You promised me that my phone bill would be sixty dollars at the most. You promised me no other fees. I heard one of your employers say that to me on the phone. My bills have been around or over a hundred for the past year. I hate you and I hope your company dies a miserable death. We won't be renewing our contract.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled consumer.
Dear Barbara Streisand,
Yes, I still hate you.
Sincerely,
Just reminding in case you forgot.
Dear Charles,
You rock, man!
Sincerely,
Pimp Mama.
Dear me,
I know you hate to hear this, but the dishes are going to have to be done today.
Sincerely,
yourself.
Dear P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean John, or whatever the hell you feel like calling yourself today,
Would you just pick a f***ing band already?!
Sincerely,
Totally over it.
Dear Donald Duck..err Trump,
How many brown-nosers does it take to NOT tell you that that hair isn't working for ya. You're a douche.
Sincerely,
Not digging it.
Dear MTV,
I think you should personally be held responsible for the next generation's self-absorbed, materialistic and shallow ways. Putting out shows like "Sweet Sixteen", "Next" etc. only teaches kids that people are easily replaced and getting everything you want in life without working for it is the way to go. I hate you.
Sincerely,
Remembering when the "M" stood for music.
Dear Paris Hilton,
Would you be so kind as to eliminate yourself from the gene pool? Please?
Sincerely,
I never liked you.
Dear Judge Dan from "So you think you can dance",
You're not all that. Seriously, you're not.
Sincerely,
I can dance better than you.
P.S. My son thinks the opening song of your show is "Ba da bum da bum dance."
P.P.S. The judge sitting next to you has horse teeth. Really white ones.
Dear Ted Nugent,
I'm starting to believe you can do no wrong.
Sincerely,
Amazed.
Dear Toni Braxton,
Whatever happened to you? Where are you?
Sincerely,
A fan.
Dear Sprint,
You're pissing me off. You promised me that my phone bill would be sixty dollars at the most. You promised me no other fees. I heard one of your employers say that to me on the phone. My bills have been around or over a hundred for the past year. I hate you and I hope your company dies a miserable death. We won't be renewing our contract.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled consumer.
Dear Barbara Streisand,
Yes, I still hate you.
Sincerely,
Just reminding in case you forgot.
Dear Charles,
You rock, man!
Sincerely,
Pimp Mama.
Dear me,
I know you hate to hear this, but the dishes are going to have to be done today.
Sincerely,
yourself.
posted by Ari at 8:49 AM
13 Comments:
Dear Mistress Milkshake Mamma:
Drop everything, go to the window, notice the lovely lady staring back at you? Yeah, that's me stalking your bad ass! Yup, it sure is... (mwaaahhhhhh...)
Sincerely,
It sucks to be you
Dear M {to the 3rd power}:
I can't help myself, spamming your journal is too damned fun! ::WoooHooo:: I spam, therefore I am... :)
Sincerely,
Your Friend J~
Dear Ari,
You Rock more!
Your Bill is $100...Dang! I would leave too. The only reason i'm still with them is because of my employee discount.
Toni Braxton is a mommy now. I think she took some time off for that.
Oh yeah, You made me Google Ted Nugent. I never heard of him and I was curious. I just saw one of his album covers. (Cat Scratch Fever) He looked kind of scary in a crazy way. LOL
Oh wait wait..never heard of Ted (loin cloth) Nugent?
OMG I need to go educate this man....
geeesh...
I have one:
Dear Ken Lay
Oh yea your dead. Freaking idiot. See...can have it all but in the end? Nada...
Sincerely,
A person similar to those you stepped all over.
Dear Brittany,
What else is left to say?
Go away, maybe?
Sincerely
Never was a fan.
Hey Ari! This is fun...Mine are not as good...but hey its a good meme???? And hell gives Judith something to SPAM ;)
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Dear M {to the 3rd power}:
Bra and panties should be part of your daily wardrobe. (Well, at least the panties.)
(Mwaahhhhhh...)
Sincerely,
Headlights, Yes. Camel Toe, No.
Dear M {to the 3rd power}:
Thank you for hours and hours of entertainment.
Sincerely,
Grateful
bwahahahah! i love this entry! oh, and btw, i ♥ that maria mena song...it takes some time to get used to it, though!
oxo.
Ariiiii, you cannot possibly know how very much I needed to read a funny entry like this right now. It felt good to laugh.
Fuck Sprint. We got hosed by them, too. Needless to say, we're back with AT&T.
Ted Nugent...gotta love him. No talking out of both sides of his mouth, is there?
::hug::
Nikki (who was wearing a very sad face until she read your journal)
Ari,
Thanks! I needed a good laugh.
- Julie -
Jodi, I lived a sheltered life (sigh) LMAO.
Besides, I am blinded by Amel Larrieux's beauty and voice. Oh Amel, Sweet, Sweet Amel.
Dear Judith,
What's wrong with camel toe?
Sincerely,
A Big Camel Toe Fan
(or should I say a big fan of camel toes?)
Chris
My Blog
You're so funny! Love your truth's humor.
That Sweet Sixteen Show is criminal. I don't know what time it comes on but if I am flipping through the channels and come to it, I am like this gawker that just cannot believe my own eyes. I detest it. I hate it. I wish the 16 teen year olds years of pain and sufffering for being so shallow and cruel. Oh the cruel irony, now I am cruel for wishing them ill............
WHERE's THE MUSIC?!!!!!
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