To hug or not to hug
I've been watching a little one for one of my husband's employees. I had to get registered with the state and get a background check and all that good stuff. And that's all fine and dandy, I don't mind that. When speaking the baby's mother, she told me she just couldn't rely on her old daycare provider. There were times when she'd ring the doorbell or call and the lady refused to answer. The final straw was that the little one would end up crying all day long until his mother came home.
I was only supposed to watch him for a day as a backup, because she couldn't find anyone else. But after just one day, she arrived to pick him up and he was smiling and happy. I guess it was a big change for her. So much so, that she asked me if I would continue. Did she need to ask? I get paid to play with a baby all day?! Yes!!
I realize that since I am babysitting out of my home that my methods are different from the methods used by daycares. To be honest, I'm not even sure what normal daycares provide for the children. But the mother told me that some do not allow the providers to hug or kiss or soothe the children at all. I explained to her that I am not like that. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of taking her "place" as mother, but I do want a bond to form between the child and myself. I can't imagine trying to nurture and take care of a child where there was no kind of bond whatsoever. She agreed with me, saying she could tell a difference immediately. He came home happier, she knew he ate right, etc.
So this just makes me wonder... do daycares really provide such impersonal care? How can children (babies) be nurtured in an environment where they aren't even allowed to hug? I kid you not, I babysat this baby the other day and spent the whole day hugging and rocking him just for fun. I can't imagine what daycares do to lull children down for naps. What is the standard for a daycare? (You'll have to pardon my ignorance on this subject, as my son has never been in one. I haven't had the experience of dealing with one before.)
Maybe I'm just used to my ways. I'm not sure. My son is the last kid out of school each day, because he is known for going around hugging all the teachers. The sense of touch is one of the most powerful ways to express oneself. I thought children needed that. Am I wrong here? Should I be more impersonal? I just can't imagine sending my own son to a place where he couldn't get the attention that he deserves. Maybe I'm in the minority on this one...
I was only supposed to watch him for a day as a backup, because she couldn't find anyone else. But after just one day, she arrived to pick him up and he was smiling and happy. I guess it was a big change for her. So much so, that she asked me if I would continue. Did she need to ask? I get paid to play with a baby all day?! Yes!!
I realize that since I am babysitting out of my home that my methods are different from the methods used by daycares. To be honest, I'm not even sure what normal daycares provide for the children. But the mother told me that some do not allow the providers to hug or kiss or soothe the children at all. I explained to her that I am not like that. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of taking her "place" as mother, but I do want a bond to form between the child and myself. I can't imagine trying to nurture and take care of a child where there was no kind of bond whatsoever. She agreed with me, saying she could tell a difference immediately. He came home happier, she knew he ate right, etc.
So this just makes me wonder... do daycares really provide such impersonal care? How can children (babies) be nurtured in an environment where they aren't even allowed to hug? I kid you not, I babysat this baby the other day and spent the whole day hugging and rocking him just for fun. I can't imagine what daycares do to lull children down for naps. What is the standard for a daycare? (You'll have to pardon my ignorance on this subject, as my son has never been in one. I haven't had the experience of dealing with one before.)
Maybe I'm just used to my ways. I'm not sure. My son is the last kid out of school each day, because he is known for going around hugging all the teachers. The sense of touch is one of the most powerful ways to express oneself. I thought children needed that. Am I wrong here? Should I be more impersonal? I just can't imagine sending my own son to a place where he couldn't get the attention that he deserves. Maybe I'm in the minority on this one...
posted by Ari at 9:00 PM
5 Comments:
When I was in daycare, no one was really "paying attention". I mean they would keep an eye out for you, but they didn't really talk or listen to me.
In fact I would say that my daycare experience was a bad one, because the two guys in charge of my group instigated a fight between me and another kid, and I ended up getting kicked out of daycare.
I think children today can use every hug they can get.
You're spot on hon (as usual, hehe). Children need love, need to feel, need to know that the world, whilst terrifying and big, is full of wonderment too. How much hatred and vitriol we could see disappear if people just took the time to cherish and to hug. When there is no difference between angry adult and loving adult, when the faces that look at children are all distant, all the same, then we have failed. A child that knows the power of compassion, of human touch, is better equipped to turn the headlong descent into social ruin around. At least thats what I think.
Charles got kicked out of daycare?
I'm all for the hugs but I think the deciding factor should be what the child requires. But then again, what do I know ... I live a child-free existence?
J~
Well speaking from experience on both ends...My family(sis in law bleaacccck...sigh)owns a few daycares and my children went there from a month old until we had a fall out...anyhoo..I will give her credit, she has a great staff and wonderful environment. She went for the preschool certification as well and all the trainings nd all the ladies working there are wonderful!
As a parent, and very picky and protective...And having many fiends with kids in daycare there are those that are very impersonal and hover on the line of neglect or just stupidity.
Personally? If it is not family, there is no daycare(Of course exceptions are those rays of light that are out there...as you.)
Peace
I like hugs, and no matter how mean I am to those little buggers they always want some more. When my daughter was in day care I had to sign a permission slip for them to help her with sunscreen.
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