'Tis the season
It's Winter Break and you know what that means. If you're on AOL, it means that a whole slew of degenerate horny boys will now be let loose to instant message all day long, while their unsuspecting parents are at work. Oh joy.
And if you happen to be female and on AOL both at the same time, chances are you are going to be subjected to the hotactionmales or prettysoccerboys that run rampant during this time. Fun, fun. I, on the other hand, am in no mood to be parenting other people's kids. It's sad and pathetic that they try to disguise the fact that they are pubescent horny fifteen year olds, but it's obvious to us women. No woman is attracted to l33t speak. They're just not. Sorry, it's true. And while we're at it, the answer is no. I don't want to talk about your balls. Or any other of your body parts or bodily functions. I don't want hot male action. I can get that any time I want it. So instead, I will launch into the quickest way to take down a man.
How? I'm glad you asked.
There are two quick ways of bringing down a man. Yes, there is the testicle area. However, most men have grown up knowing that this is the first place women strike, so they have become great at dodging it. Ineffective. The other is a quick jab to the neck. Most men don't expect you to punch them in the neck, so you have the surprise factor on your side.
But this is the internet and try as you might, you won't be able to get your hand through your monitor in order to jab in either of these places. Which brings us to the third method of bringing down a man, or in this case, a non-stop horny teenager. The ego. It's best to strike hard and fast at that ego, so that they'll be so surprised, they'll click the little red x out of this conversation.
For example: "Why don't you wipe the drool off your chin, adjust your protective helmet and go back to sucking on momma's tit, because I have no time for you."
Sure, you may get called a few names here and there, but for the most part, they'll be so insulted, they'll leave you alone. It's always worked for me. As luck would have it, sometimes this works on grown men too.
Now I'm not a feminist, nor am I saying that all men are bad and need to be taken down. Just horny teenage boys. A girl has to have her weapons, that's all.
And if you happen to be female and on AOL both at the same time, chances are you are going to be subjected to the hotactionmales or prettysoccerboys that run rampant during this time. Fun, fun. I, on the other hand, am in no mood to be parenting other people's kids. It's sad and pathetic that they try to disguise the fact that they are pubescent horny fifteen year olds, but it's obvious to us women. No woman is attracted to l33t speak. They're just not. Sorry, it's true. And while we're at it, the answer is no. I don't want to talk about your balls. Or any other of your body parts or bodily functions. I don't want hot male action. I can get that any time I want it. So instead, I will launch into the quickest way to take down a man.
How? I'm glad you asked.
There are two quick ways of bringing down a man. Yes, there is the testicle area. However, most men have grown up knowing that this is the first place women strike, so they have become great at dodging it. Ineffective. The other is a quick jab to the neck. Most men don't expect you to punch them in the neck, so you have the surprise factor on your side.
But this is the internet and try as you might, you won't be able to get your hand through your monitor in order to jab in either of these places. Which brings us to the third method of bringing down a man, or in this case, a non-stop horny teenager. The ego. It's best to strike hard and fast at that ego, so that they'll be so surprised, they'll click the little red x out of this conversation.
For example: "Why don't you wipe the drool off your chin, adjust your protective helmet and go back to sucking on momma's tit, because I have no time for you."
Sure, you may get called a few names here and there, but for the most part, they'll be so insulted, they'll leave you alone. It's always worked for me. As luck would have it, sometimes this works on grown men too.
Now I'm not a feminist, nor am I saying that all men are bad and need to be taken down. Just horny teenage boys. A girl has to have her weapons, that's all.
posted by Ari at 11:09 AM
9 Comments:
Omg!!! That is funny!! True but funny.....I hate school breaks because most little boys are using daddys screen name.....ick. Tawnya
I swear.. If I get one more friggin A/S/L random IM I WILL find a way to reach through my computer! lol I get a lot of "what are you wearing" WHAT is that about?? lol I'm sure they are young.. but not always. I usually say sweat pants and a tank top (send) then I say "I was wondering?" (send) "do you think I'm crazy too" (send) "cuz I wear my sweat pants on my head" (send) . I normally never hear from them again! ;)
love it! man I hate festive horndogs, I would like to purchase your insults, i'll take a bag of twelve assorted please!
That is so wrong:)
Hey baby? Wanna hook up? I can meet you at the mall if I can get my mom to drop me off.
Chris
That is so wrong
Hey Chris stole my saying! I'm going to go and cry like a prepubescent teen. LOL
Watch out Now! :)
I keep my IM off unless someone I know specifically asks me to turn it on for them. Other than that, I just don't have the energy for the little losers. Imagine if you took them up on the offer, they will be crying to Bill O'Rielly and their mothers will be screaming about molestation, and it will get all dramafied when you get pregnant, and then grown men will get mad because 15 year old girls are not on the net doing the same, and will cry because the adult females are getting something they are not getting, and then they will parade that adult female "molester" all over the news acting like she and her ilk have the same numbers of molesters as they have had since the beginning of time. So in conclusion, the little bastards need to keep their little penises in their little pants, or call each other up for a Christmas jerk circle and leave bloggers alone.
Do you mind if I recycle that? I'd like to use it for the little bastards that drive their Daddies expensive sports cars around thinking their 'hot-snot'... on a learners permit!
Wait... Nope... I've never met a 15-19 year old boy or girl that actually purchased a Porchia or a Fararri on their own.... Please introduce me to your Daddy!
he he he he. See, AOL, however, does have this handy feature--It's on the buddy list and it's called "Allow only those on my buddy list to IM me" I absolutely ♥ that feature. I only use that.
LOL. It wasn't me. I swear.
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