I'm not your door mat, so quit trying to walk on me.
Lately, I feel like Stretch Armstrong with a thousand people tugging on me at once. At some point, I'm gonna snap. There's only so much I can do. Really, it's all about time. It seems like my time is being focused in various ways. And that's fine. But I need me time. Me time. Time for myself. Time to reflect. More time than it takes to write an entry in this thing. If I don't get me time, I'm going to make YOUR time a living hell. That's just how it is.
So this past weekend, we went to the Illinois Gathering of the Guard. It's nice to see some of the familiar Patriot Guard Riders in a setting that isn't sorrowful. It's nice to be able to sit down, chat, picnic and smile with them. I had a great time. Lo and behold, they awarded Chris with a plaque for all the work he's done. I was shocked and so proud. He is a good man. Plus, we were able to raise around a thousand dollars to help with memorials. That was awesome.
Next weekend, we have something else to go to. I can't remember what it is. Our plate is full, I'm telling you. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. The weekend after that, we're going to Chicago for an awards ceremony where the Governor of Illinois shall declare September 9th, Patriot Guard Day. It'll be amazing.
The weekend after that, Kade's birthday party, which was held off because I don't like to bombard the mothers with birthday invitations the first week of school. Plus, that was the only time we could get the skating rink. The very next day, we are supposed to be in a walk for juvenile diabetes.
Now all that, which I am very happy and grateful to do, mind you, and then I get phone calls from the church. Why haven't we been going? What could be more important than salvation? Well first of all, fuck you. I've been busy honoring dead soldiers and will be walking to help children who suffer from diabetes. What the hell have YOU done lately, church, besides give lessons on how to can goods? Yeah, I said it. I'm giving away my free time for good causes, so no I can't be bothered to attend a church that is only going to tell me how I should conform to some way of life that we all know I am incapable of. Fuck you. I got better things to do. And no, I will not take that calling. No, I will not give lessons. So there.
Do you know my husband works anywhere from 60-80 hours a week and then with all the other work we do besides that, and this church is pissed that we won't do MORE? Oh sure, do more FOR THEM. Help THEM. Get off my back, I'm not prejudiced like that. If I see a person in need, I don't think I should have to care what creed they follow. Besides, the time I have with Chris is already limited. I refuse to limit it more. What really pisses me off is that they just won't take a hint. Chris has already told the missionaries not to come back. Then I have to deal with the church ladies that have nothing better to do than push their way into my time. My time, people. It's getting to the point, where I'm going to have to snap on church ladies. I will rot in hell, but I'll do it gladly, because I can't fucking take anymore time out of my day to deal with this shit and I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm tired period.
For awhile, after I finish my committments, the answer is no. No, I will not help you. No, I will not go to church. No, I'm not doing anymore walks for anyone. No, you cannot rely on me. NO NO NO NO NO NO. The answer is no.
I'm taking me time now.
So this past weekend, we went to the Illinois Gathering of the Guard. It's nice to see some of the familiar Patriot Guard Riders in a setting that isn't sorrowful. It's nice to be able to sit down, chat, picnic and smile with them. I had a great time. Lo and behold, they awarded Chris with a plaque for all the work he's done. I was shocked and so proud. He is a good man. Plus, we were able to raise around a thousand dollars to help with memorials. That was awesome.
Next weekend, we have something else to go to. I can't remember what it is. Our plate is full, I'm telling you. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. The weekend after that, we're going to Chicago for an awards ceremony where the Governor of Illinois shall declare September 9th, Patriot Guard Day. It'll be amazing.
The weekend after that, Kade's birthday party, which was held off because I don't like to bombard the mothers with birthday invitations the first week of school. Plus, that was the only time we could get the skating rink. The very next day, we are supposed to be in a walk for juvenile diabetes.
Now all that, which I am very happy and grateful to do, mind you, and then I get phone calls from the church. Why haven't we been going? What could be more important than salvation? Well first of all, fuck you. I've been busy honoring dead soldiers and will be walking to help children who suffer from diabetes. What the hell have YOU done lately, church, besides give lessons on how to can goods? Yeah, I said it. I'm giving away my free time for good causes, so no I can't be bothered to attend a church that is only going to tell me how I should conform to some way of life that we all know I am incapable of. Fuck you. I got better things to do. And no, I will not take that calling. No, I will not give lessons. So there.
Do you know my husband works anywhere from 60-80 hours a week and then with all the other work we do besides that, and this church is pissed that we won't do MORE? Oh sure, do more FOR THEM. Help THEM. Get off my back, I'm not prejudiced like that. If I see a person in need, I don't think I should have to care what creed they follow. Besides, the time I have with Chris is already limited. I refuse to limit it more. What really pisses me off is that they just won't take a hint. Chris has already told the missionaries not to come back. Then I have to deal with the church ladies that have nothing better to do than push their way into my time. My time, people. It's getting to the point, where I'm going to have to snap on church ladies. I will rot in hell, but I'll do it gladly, because I can't fucking take anymore time out of my day to deal with this shit and I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm tired period.
For awhile, after I finish my committments, the answer is no. No, I will not help you. No, I will not go to church. No, I'm not doing anymore walks for anyone. No, you cannot rely on me. NO NO NO NO NO NO. The answer is no.
I'm taking me time now.
posted by Ari at 8:40 PM
8 Comments:
A-MEN, Ari! You stick to your guns. I will guaran-damn-tee that the holier-than-thous at the church aren't doing one-tenth of the good works that you and your family are doing. They might talk the talk, but you are definitely walking the walk. Spend time in church? Girl, the WORLD is your church.
In the Christian scriptures, doesn't it talk about how Jesus was out in the streets, taking care of the lepers and the prostitutes, the blind, the lame, and the beggars, instead of spending all day in the temple pondering the minute details of the Law? Jesus was out DOING, not worrying about who wore what to church last Sunday or who is going to bring the tuna casserole to the pot-luck supper next week. The way I understand it, Jesus said "no" and "fuck you" in his own way.
You go right ahead and say "no." I believe you've earned the right.
Wow, hon, you really are busy! I think it's totally okay for you to tell the church ladies to fuck off. ha ha ha. You really don't have time for that, though!
:] ♥
There is a lot of that going around now. It is hard to learn to say, "No". Congrats on learning it. Now teach it (feel free to say "no' to that). ;)
You've inspired me to say no myself. Sometimes it too easy to be too nice, ya know?
You have to feel better after saying all of that. And you have every right to feel as you do. I will gladly do whatever I can for whomever I can...until it becomes an expectation on the part of others. Then I close down and resent their expectations. Yeah, it becomes a FUCK YOU moment.
You have so much going on. And you do so much for others that is highly commendable. You are a good soul.
Chicago? Mmmm...that is MY city. Do enjoy your time there. Maybe even find a bit of 'me' time while there. 'Tis an easy place for that to occur.
::hug::
Nikki
Sounds like you have a full plate! And, a fun one, doing good deeds all along the way. Your beliefs should be between you and your God, and your day to day actions. I don't go to church like I was raised, I just don't find I have to be "in" a church to talk or be with God. You should be very proud of all that you and your family does for others.
You go girl!
I had a conversation the other day about doing alot for people. She said she kept giving and they kept taking, until she couldn't take it anymore. And for the first time in her 55 years she said NO, and she said it felt good.
um, what denomination is that church, if I may ask? I only ask because there is a mormon church here where they hound anyone that even asks, where do you attend. They call you, invite you COME TO YOUR HOUSE. Well, most of the family is Catholic (not I, I am wiccan) YEAH that is fun... LOL I got rid of the ones continuously hounding me when I just was curious as I love to learn about others beliefs because it is what you are supposed to do, isn't it? Learn to understand and accept others for who they are? But, seeing the ladies show up, I quickly lit a couple candles and opened a few Wicca books and invited them in. One look they botled. ::smirks:: Could you imagine if I was into the evil black crap? LOL LOL LOL It is sad others don't understand or want to learn about my religon after I take the time to learn theirs.
No, was the best word I ever learned to finally say. But it did take till I was 34 to first use it.
Keep to your guns. NO NO NO! :oD
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