Resident Evil 5

I've been waiting for this one for three years. Three years it took them to make this sequel. Now let me just talk about disappointment for a second. I always get my hopes up about how good something will be. I hated Dark Knight. It sucked. I hate the Resident Evil movies. They suck. I hate Milla Jovovich or whatever her name is. She sucks and her character was never even in the game. Suck suck. Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness sucked so bad, I only played the first few levels before hurling it at the wall, never to be played again. I hated the Final Fantasy computer animated movie. It sucked. In fact, there hasn't really ever been a game to movie crossover that I HAVE liked. They all suck. So, I am no stranger to disappointment.

But when my Kade got his Game Informer magazine, when my Kade came screeching into the living room about how they were in the throws of making RE5, I went beserk-like crazy in anticipation. I didn't even own a PS3 and I was excited for this game. I checked the dates. March 13th. I preordered my copy. Did I mention, I didn't even have the console, yet? I made my Chris go to another state to get me a PS3 that WAS backwards compatible, because they are hard to find, being that Sony doesn't make them anymore. I made him buy me one that had sixty gigs of harddrive. I made him buy me a second controller, because I learned the game was Co-op, so now my Kade could play alongside me. So... six hundred dollars later, I am now ready for this game. Now before I go on... I don't ask for much. I know I am sounding like a spoiled brat, but I really am not one of these wives that asks for a lot. I am fine with the things I have. I don't need jewelry. I don't shop for clothes all the time. I don't need the latest fashions. So, when I do want something, typically my Chris is happy to oblige. I don't need pretty baubles, I just need a Playstation and any Resident Evil game, so I can curl my finger around the R1 button, the way you would curl your finger around the trigger of a gun and I am allllllllllll good.

I had asked the guy at Gamestop who the characters were, because I didn't recognize them. Yeah, they really revamped the characters. A little too much if you ask me. Chris (the lead, not my Chris) has some huge guns... err arms, biceps. I mean, huge. A little too huge. Come on, really? For a computer animated character, he is nice to look at. It's just you shouldn't really want to look at him when an angry lynch mob is heading your way. Just sayin'. The other character is new, Sheva. Not Sheiva, but Sheh vah. Weird. But okay. The animation in this game is so good. For once, they really concentrated on the characters. Sheva has this thing she does with her nose. When something doesn't suit her, she wrinkles it a bit. It's a cute characteristic for a game character. I like the little things. I like HER character. I don't like HER in the game. Okay, the game is co-op, which means you play with a partner. If you don't have a partner, the computer takes over the other character, you play in tandem. Problem is that if either one of you dies, you both die. Problem is that Sheva has a habit of walking straight into a mob of infected zombie-like people, blocking my view so that I cannot shoot. If I do shoot, I hit her dumbass. This is extremely frustrating when I am lining up a snipershot. There is nothing worse than getting that little red dot right over a zombie's head, than to have Sheva walk into my line of sight, only to have her staring at me through my scope. You dumbass! Move! And I really do shout these things at the television. As if it really knows my pain.

Another annoying aspect is that if I do happen to let her have a gun, she will waste all the ammo. So now, I have gone to using her as a pack mule to carry all my ammo. She can have a stun rod. Only I have the guns. This little trick has gotten my far into the game. Far less wasted ammo, but the problem is that she LOVES to run ahead. When I am hiding, trying to load all my guns, she will decide to go look ahead, taking all my ammo with her. I have to call her back every few seconds, but she always brings a few unwanted guests with her. The AI that controls Sheva had to have been made by a real big asshole. She always wants to run out of situations. This is the advice she gives me. Um, hello, a huge mob of infected villagers just came out of the woodwork, I have plenty of rifle ammo and you want to run?! Hell no! Head shot practice anyone? I love shooting their heads before they ever get to me, then I run over and steal all their ammo... which I make Sheva hold for me. *snicker*

The game starts out hardcore. This mob comes outta no where to take you out. At this point you have very few bullets, a knife (whoopeedoo, what's a knife gonna do for ya, other than breaking open crates?) so you have to run. Now I am not a bitch that runs. So it took me a few times to figure out that, hey, the game really does want me to run away. Damn. I hate that. That pissed me off and for a moment, I really did consider throwing the game at the wall and letting it end the way of Angel of Darkness. But only for a moment. I gathered myself and trudged on. It gets so much better. Once I figured out that they messed up the controls (I had to manually go in and set all my controls back to the way they should be) it was game on! I got this now!

It does add in some really unintentionally funny parts. I accidently knocked over a huge torch and it severely scalded this beast I was trying to kill. It was put there for that purpose, but I didn't know that, so my Kade and I had a good laugh at how good I was at accidently winning. There's another part where you are in the darkness of a mine. Sheva holds a light, but it only illuminates a few feet in front of you, so you have to rely on sounds to alert you. I forgot Sheva was behind me, so when I heard footsteps behind me, I turned and starting shooting, only to be shooting my partner. Ooops. At another point, you are supposed to walk quietly by some sleeping mutants. This is the advice Sheva gave me. I seriously did consider it... but the opportunity of a fight was just too much so I ran by quickly to alert them of my presence while the AI Sheva complained that I woke them all. Hehehhe.

Am I disappointed? There are aspects of the game that disappoint me. Sheva, while a good character and quite cute, is useless to me other than to be a pack mule. I hate not being able to see. I hate it. I understand they do it for atmosphere and to make the game harder, but I want to see myself playing the game. Don't make it too dark. Do I love the game? YES! Was it worth a six hundred dollar three year wait? YES!

Now I have to teach my Kade to play, so that he can control Sheva (even though he whines at this. But I told him that I am already too used to playing Chris to be Sheva now.) I think he might be at the age where he can play this all right. Then again, I may have to wait a few years, because there are still certain scenes that make him get up and sit right next to me. If you get into the game, it can be scary. It does get your heart racing. It's definitely not as scary as the original RE games, it's a new kind of scared. Scared your partner did something ridiculous. Like waste fifty bullets on chickens. Or scared you have to kill this huge monster, only to realize you have almost no ammo left. Or scared your partner got too close to you with that stun rod. (I can't even tell you how many times she's hit me with that thing!) Anyway, it's a good buy. It's not as good as RE4, but it will keep me busy until the next one comes out.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I don't even know where to begin. I'm so disgusted right now. Okay, I've always felt like if you've done well, you should always give back. So my Chris and I, we try to take care of our vets. There's a Soldiers and Sailors home right up the street from my house. We go to visit them every couple of months. Usually we visit as many as we can, but sometimes I'll go and visit the ones that know us a little better. I have one (we'll call him "the Good Vet") that is a penpal to us. He writes us every so often, even though we are only up the street. I think for him, it is the promise of something to look forward to. Getting something in the mail is nice for him. My son writes him back, he likes that. He's a very sweet man.

Most of them are all great men and women. They love getting visits. Most of the time, they just want someone to listen. The Good Vet will sometimes call me when he really needs a visit. Unless my schedule is too busy, I am happy to oblige. And to tell you the truth, we enjoy visiting him, too. He likes hearing how our lives are going; we make sure he's doing all right. The Good Vet has a few friends. Sometimes, he'll go around introducing us. One time he introduced us to a gentleman that was a little cranky. We didn't let that get in the way of conversation, and by the end of the day, he was laughing with us. The Cranky Vet ended up wheeling himself (he's in a wheelchair) down to our home to wait until we got home so that he could thank us for the visit. I thought that was sweet. I don't mind that, I really don't.

I don't mind phone calls, or mail. I don't even mind home visits if they are able to get around on their own. I don't mind being there for someone. What I DO mind is being taken advantage of. Now the vets I've mentioned so far are great gentlemen who would never harm a fly.

This next one, ugh. So there's this vet... We'll call him the Creepy Vet. He didn't start out creepy. He was a customer of mine that would come in. I was always happy to help him get what he needed from my store. Because of this, he would only allow me to help him whenever he came in. Or at least, that's what I thought. It always baffled the other managers that he would not speak to them. This should have been a warning flag, but you never know with people. I just thought that he knew I was the customer service rep, so I would get him exactly what he needed.

So one day he came in and mentioned that he lived in the Soldiers and Sailors home. I told him I knew of it, actually visited it sometimes. He asked if I would visit him there, I told him I would whenever I got the chance. As it so happened, the group I volunteer for, Soldiers' Angels, sent my Chris a bunch of donations for the home. Whenever I visit, whether it be for all the vets or for the few I know well, I always go as a Soldiers' Angel. I've even taken other Angels there, as well as Patriot Guard Riders. So, I could have had my Chris call up some Angels or Riders to come with me to make these donations, but I thought that I'd take a few and deliver them personally to the vets I knew. I thought it would be nicer that way. I won't do that anymore.

I visited the Good Vet and his friends, gave them their donations. They marveled at how fast Kade was growing. It's really amusing because they don't see Kade on a regular basis, so they can see the changes in him immediately. The last person on my list was the Creepy Vet, who at this point was not creepy at all. So I went to deliver his donation, only to find him in some really short shorts. Now he's in a wheelchair, so that an extremely odd look, but whatever. So Kade and I went into his room... Okay, it's sad that I can identify most of the things in his room by name and model number because they come from my store. That's really odd, but whatever. I gave him his donation, explaining that the Soldiers' Angels sent them for the vets to have. He nodded and set them aside, then asked for a hug. Um, okay. So I went to give him a hug and the man starts to kiss my neck.

I jumped back telling him that that was inappropriate first of all, and second of all, I am married! He told me he didn't know that, despite the fact that the entire time I have known this man, I've had a ring on my finger. At this point, Kade's eyes were as wide as saucers. Thank the Lord my son was there with me that day. Thank all the heavens, because he gave me every excuse to leave. I love my son. I do. I love the fact that I don't have to tell him I need help, he just instinctively knows. So Kade started saying he was really hungry, which gave me a polite excuse to leave. "Oh, gotta go fix dinner." Nope, that just launched Creepy Vet into a list of places where we could go eat. Uh, no. Again, I told him I am married and that he was inappropriate. He ignored this. So at this point, I was done using excuses. I told him we had to leave. He told me he would walk me out to my car. I told him that was unnecessary and yet, he followed us anyway.

The whole time he was asking if any of the other girls at work were single. Nope, there aren't any!! I practically jumped in my car and bolted out of there. "Mom, don't tell Dad, he'll be so mad," Kade told me.

My response was, "You better damn well believe I am telling your father!"

"Oh come on, he didn't know you were married."

"Kade, where is the logic in that?! Even if I wasn't married that gives him no right to be trying to kiss on me!!"

"Oh good point. That was gross."

I get home to my Chris, who knew immediately that something was wrong. I told him and he laughed. I do not find it funny. He gave me a hug and talked me down, but I was pretty upset. I called my mother and she too, began laughing. Okay, so I started to see the humor in the situation. This dirty old vet tried to kiss me. Har har.

The next day, I get this voicemail from Creepy Vet. I can't make out a word he's saying. So, I give the phone to my Chris, who listens to it, shakes his head, then begins listening again so he can translate to me. He tells me that the Creepy Vet is asking me if "we can get something started. I thought about you all night." Needless to say, my Chris was NOT smiling and laughing anymore. I will not be visting that building of the grounds any more. And the next time I take donations, I will not be going with only a ten year old as a companion. It's really fucking sad that I have to think that way.

You know, it's not like I can't take care of myself. I've brought down men bigger than my Chris before. I can fight. I was taught. No where in my training did they ever teach me about how to ward off old dirty men in wheelchairs. I can't beat him up! He's an old man in a wheelchair. What the hell! Needless to say, I know this story may be amusing to some and funny, but I am not amused. I am creeped out. No wonder the guy would never allow the MALE managers to help him. Well from now on, that's all he gets or he can go elsewhere. I've already alerted my boss. The sad thing is that I get this crap all the time. Now not to this degree, but I'm so tired of being gawked at. I'm so tired of comments. And up until this point, I've laughed it off, too. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was hilarious when a deaf old customer loudly told me that he liked the way the paper in my back pocket moved when I walked. I mean, I could not help but laugh at the time. But now I'm sick of it. I'm so damn sick of it. Mostly it's the older ones, because they think they can get away with it, but lately I don't know. It seems like the men in this community think they have a right or something. And all it makes me believe is that I need to get the hell out of dodge. I hate this city. I hate these people. Say what you want about that kind of stuff happening everywhere, but I've never had this kind of thing happen anywhere else.