Let's Talk About Sex

Oh, come on. You knew I'd get to this eventually. I'm only surprised I haven't spoken up about this before. At the start of my day, my Chris called to tell me he needed clean socks. Clean socks, he says, I could do that. The key word is could. Maybe he forgot who he was talking to. So of course, I waited until the very last minute before he came home to start it. I cleaned the house, hemming and hawwing about, cleaning anything that wasn't laundry. That's when I realized... it's Tuesday.

The rest of the world maybe waits until Wednesday, it being hump day and all. But not Chris, because he is too impatient. So Tuesdays it is. So I cleaned the house for nothing. Because on Tuesdays, he would never notice anyway. He only has one thing on his mind. Do you know how much energy I spent cleaning and procrastinating on laundry?! And now it's Tuesday?! At this point, I was fatigued.

He was pretty forlorn. With the puppy dogs eyes and everything. I'm a sucker for that. It all plays into my ego. So naturally, I started negotiating. I can't do everything at once. If I'm going to get all that laundry done, we'd have to be quick. He doesn't understand the meaning of that word. So I told him, clean socks or sex. This is the point where the gears of his brain started grinding together read hard as he actually pretended to consider the options. And I knew exactly what he was thinking. His slacks go down to there, his work boots go up to here... No one will notice if he's not wearing socks.

Needless to say, it's two-thirty in the morning and my laundry still isn't done. Who needs socks, anyway?