Reality Check

Hmm, I haven't written here in almost a year. Crazy how time flies. The truth is that I've been working steadily and haven't really given the time to write. I am only taking a moment now to stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

So what's new? Well, I started a new job. I am pretty happy with it, so I am refraining from speaking of it, lest I jinx myself. My son will be a freshman this upcoming year. This is the same child that once started a journal of his own, named Carl. (I had told him to give his online journal a name, so he named it like a pet.) Now, he woos the girls at school by singing solos and by being his utterly hilarious self.

I am still here in the same city, venting to anyone that will listen that Hollywood just cannot get an original thought. I still despise Paul W. S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich for ruining Resident Evil. I still adore Pink Panther. And I still have a dizzying addiction to video games that would rival Christian Bales' addiction to being an all-around douche. Life is good.

One thing that has changed is that I hardly ever watch television anymore. With the saturation of reality tv, it's become a joke. There's never anything good on. The people they give these shows to are boring and uninteresting. The shows that aren't reality are clichéed versions tv shows that have already run their course. How many friggin' doctor/lawyer/police shows can one person watch? Besides, my life is amusing enough to be a sitcom of its own.

So that got me to thinking... what if my life were a sitcom? Well, first of all, it'd never be able to air on any family-friendly network. When I am home, I tend to run around in over-sized t-shirts and undies. My husband and son never wear shirts, unless they are leaving the house. So, unless it's a network that can tolerate lots of skin, it'd never air.

Second of all, I am not sure how people would take us. My husband can get swept up in survival mode. What I mean by that is that at any moment of the day, he will be making survival kits or crafting some way to keep us safe just in case the "SHTF." (Shit hits the fan.) I have no idea why he does this. No, let me correct myself. I understand why he does it, I just cannot believe he gets so involved in it. It's one thing to store a few extra items just in case. It's another to research how to build a home-made bunker. Just sayin'. Sorry, babe, I don't think I'll be using that alcohol-soaked toilet paper roll you shoved into a coffee container to use as a home-made stove any time soon.

Also, the situations I find myself in, while amusing to me, may not be amusing to the masses. Yes, people would get to see me roll my eyes when my employer decided to do tornado drills complete with the kneeling-on-the-floor-head-in-hands on the one day I decided to wear a dress. Or the many instances where I misunderstand what people are saying because I cannot hear very well. Adele has a beautiful voice, I just cannot understand a damn thing she sings.

And then, there are those times when even I have to do a sideways glance and say a secret prayer, thanking the heavens that no one was watching. I think that's how it would be if we were on tv. I'd spend the entire time hoping no one was watching, because there are only so many times you can watch a person trip/sneeze/fall/forget or do something completely idiotic before it just becomes intolerable. Such is my life and I'm loving every minute of it.