Lately
I made the mistake of registering at a site to see if I would qualify for grants to go back to school. I was merely curious, because it is something that has always haunted me. I want to finish my studies. Not two minutes after I registered at the site, (I hadn't even gotten off the webpage yet) I began receiving calls from college recruiters. And it went on all day long, until I shut my phone off and let it all go to voicemail. Man, they are a lot quicker than they used to be. I remember waiting for details from colleges in the mail when I went to school. Now they instantly qualify you and hound you to enroll. Um, ya know, I just don't have $75,000 at the moment... I was just curious!!! They never did tell me if I qualified for any grants.
My life has been a bit topsy turvy lately. I find myself deflated and demoralized. I think I will go into why, but not just yet. Normally, in hard situations, I wallow a bit (okay a lot), then pick myself up and move on. I am a fighter. But this time, fighting back involves a long legal process... it's so overwhelming. I think I shall wait to go into it when I am more levelheaded, but I will say that being in an abusive work environment is much like being in an abusive marriage. Although, I've never been in an abusive marriage, so my opinion may not be valid. Either way, I feel that I will move on from this a better person, if not a tougher one.
I am in a pretty good mood at this very moment in time. Now that could all change in a matter of minutes, where I could end up a weepy Ari, mourning the fact that justice can be truly blind. But at this moment, I am okay.
As a mother, I am finding myself in more of a coach mode. When your child is young, you tend to tell them like it is. This will be done, because I say so, etc. But when they are at an age of reason, I think it is better to let them come to their own conclusions. So while I may still guide my son, I prefer to ask him what he thinks and feels, so that he may think for himself and be able to make his own decisions. Everyone calls him "the little man", because he is like an adult in miniature form... well except when he decides to go on a farting binge. He is just twelve, you know.
We tend to have more elaborate discussions on life, politics, religion, pretty much anything you would discuss with another adult. I think he likes this, because it gives him a chance to voice himself. I like it, because sometimes he will say something so profound, I have to stop and check myself. And if we get into a discussion upon history... well forget it, I lose. I suck at history. I will just let him do all the talking in the event that I might understand or learn something new. I am in awe of how he will watch the news and make comments about it. Or how two strangers can be talking about politics and he will interject to tell them why they are wrong. Not only would I never have been so bold as to interupt adults as a child, I certainly never would have been able to keep up. He is becoming quite an amazing young man, which only makes me even prouder.
My life has been a bit topsy turvy lately. I find myself deflated and demoralized. I think I will go into why, but not just yet. Normally, in hard situations, I wallow a bit (okay a lot), then pick myself up and move on. I am a fighter. But this time, fighting back involves a long legal process... it's so overwhelming. I think I shall wait to go into it when I am more levelheaded, but I will say that being in an abusive work environment is much like being in an abusive marriage. Although, I've never been in an abusive marriage, so my opinion may not be valid. Either way, I feel that I will move on from this a better person, if not a tougher one.
I am in a pretty good mood at this very moment in time. Now that could all change in a matter of minutes, where I could end up a weepy Ari, mourning the fact that justice can be truly blind. But at this moment, I am okay.
As a mother, I am finding myself in more of a coach mode. When your child is young, you tend to tell them like it is. This will be done, because I say so, etc. But when they are at an age of reason, I think it is better to let them come to their own conclusions. So while I may still guide my son, I prefer to ask him what he thinks and feels, so that he may think for himself and be able to make his own decisions. Everyone calls him "the little man", because he is like an adult in miniature form... well except when he decides to go on a farting binge. He is just twelve, you know.
We tend to have more elaborate discussions on life, politics, religion, pretty much anything you would discuss with another adult. I think he likes this, because it gives him a chance to voice himself. I like it, because sometimes he will say something so profound, I have to stop and check myself. And if we get into a discussion upon history... well forget it, I lose. I suck at history. I will just let him do all the talking in the event that I might understand or learn something new. I am in awe of how he will watch the news and make comments about it. Or how two strangers can be talking about politics and he will interject to tell them why they are wrong. Not only would I never have been so bold as to interupt adults as a child, I certainly never would have been able to keep up. He is becoming quite an amazing young man, which only makes me even prouder.
posted by Ari at 9:49 PM
3 Comments:
I hope that things get better for you Ari. Children are so smart, My nephew isn't afraid to say how he feels, and I don't want him to grow up like I did, in an environment where children were supposed to be seen not heard. LOL he told me the other day that "I need to clean my room". LOL
Yeah, I think sometimes growing up, I felt the same way, Charles. Like I wasn't supposed to talk unless spoken to. My mother is a great example, though, so thank heavens I had her in my life to show me how to fight for myself.
www.truthliesanreality.weebly.com
x
<3
x
Post a Comment
<< Home